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Through
The Eyes of Monica
By: Monica Rodgers
I took the
last two days officially off. It was both
wonderful, and difficult.
I was unplugged for 48 hours with no phone,
and no computer.
I have to admit that I was twitching by the
time we came home to get back to work (is
there something wrong with me?)
My little family spent time at a friend’s
beach house in Misquamicut, RI. The weather
was perfect, lovely beach front property,
great deck...ocean breeze, the cry of
seagulls, but it took me almost the entire
time to actually wind down and surrender to
doing nothing.
I did bring my coloring book and colored
pencils that I have fondly been carrying
with me everywhere and my daughter and I
have managed to argue a few times over the
propriety of a mommy having their own
coloring books and own sets of pencils that
they don't share. I told her I use the
coloring book for inspiration and she told
me "I get that way when I run a lot" which
gave me pause until I realized that she
misunderstood inspiration for perspiration.
The Freudian nature of this slip made me
dwell a bit on the Green movement and the
100% truth that is the rub of being a part
of it, and I’m not talking about having a
profession in it. I’m talking about being a
witness and a participant and the choices I
have to make everyday to be for or against
it. My ignorance is my shield…because what I
don’t already know, I can’t yet change, and
the more I know about how limited the time
we actually do have to make a change the
less I allow myself to stop. relax. chill. |
Being green is a lot of work…
Being conscious is a lot of work.
Thinking about how I can make changes, adopt
better more sustainable habits and live more
mindfully is exhausting.
I want to shop, dine, vacation, and work on
my terms. I want what I want when I want it,
and that’s the harsh truth. I am an
American. I am a Global Citizen who has
plundered the planet in my own self interest
along side of my fellow brother and sisters
as we egg each other on at the expense of
the planet in our relentless pursuit of
fame, wealth, and happiness as if we can
actually find it in big cars, big houses,
designer fashions, and diamond rings and
celebrity.
Living in a more conscious way means living
with the truth; living with the realization
that I have taken part in a larger scale
playground bully scenario where the quiet,
sensitive kid who would not fight back gets
taken advantage of and made a fool and
humiliated as the bigger, more cunning, self
serving and attention seeking kid takes out
his inner frustrations escalating out of
control as the rest of us nervously laugh
and step aside both horrified and fascinated
spectators of some silly quest for attention
goes out of control. |
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The
playground school yard superimposes itself
onto the busy modern technical and
industrious society of onlookers we have
become.
We’re grown up children afraid to step in,
and just thankful we can go about our day
without being singled out.
Our ego would not survive the shame of
nonconforming behavior. Out of survival we
acted the way we were taught to act. Stand
in line, don’t ask too many questions, and
color inside the lines. Isn’t that the way
it’s supposed to be? After all no one else
spoke up…no one else took charge to make it
different. Why should we have to do it? As
adults we do what we’re told, and everyone
gets to keep their dignity and their lunch
money. Isn’t that nice?
Being more conscious has made me realize
that I’ve been asleep. I’ve been in a coma,
believing pretty much everything the popular
media tells me. I have been part of a
national agreement that it’s OK to do what
we have been doing. That it’s the AMERICAN
way. We are entitled to life liberty and the
pursuit of happiness, right?
Now as I awake out of my comfortable
slumber, and read, educate, and question my
actions I realize how out of control I have
become.
As I pursue happiness (or what I thought
happiness was) I take and waste away our
natural resources, our planets health, and
the future of my children. It dawns on me in
real moments of clarity that happiness is to
be…not to have. It’s a hard place to
be…realizing how foolish I’ve been.
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Green Guru /
Contributing Editor
Monica Rodgers
Visit Contributor Page
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